Date 7 of 29.
NAME: Randy.
AGE: Early Forties...?
OCCUPATION: Accountant
TYPE: Unassumingly gay middle-aged man
NATIONALITY: British
NATIONALITY: British
DATE RATING: 2 Stars (because he was entertaining)
This one started off on the wrong foot and it was completely my fault. I showed up about 20 minutes late and I felt awful, especially with how I’ve complained about it in the previous entries. It was partly due to me leaving the house at the last minute and the tube lines stalling for a while before I reached my destination. He could have picked somewhere a bit more convenient, but I should have left earlier. Ah well.
I walked out of the gates and I immediately spotted him waiting there in his suit. From first glance I would NEVER think he was gay and I wrote him off as a middle class accountant. I especially wouldn’t associate his appearance with his personality. Just goes to show... Having apologised for my late arrival, he slightly joked that “tardiness will not be accepted” as he did have a meeting in a short while. I didn’t know if he would hold it against me, but it seemed like he got over it. We walked down the road and chose this completely empty Turkish/British cafe. From the street it looked a bit dodgy, but the menu was decent. Since no-one was there, we had our pick of seats and quickly chose our food. That’s when he set off.
He was a talker. Not to the likes of Date #2 (Motormouth), but right up there with him. It was a very different sort of talk. A bit self-centered but not overly so. Every once in a while he did ask me a questions and get my opinion on matters. He was sporting a purple tie, scarf and matching socks. I don’t know what it is about british businessmen but they LOVE colourful socks. As if that’s the only way they express their inner homo wanting to unleash itself on the world. It’s all a bit odd. He is definitely not the bumbling boring accountant that I would have expected. Turns out that he does amateur dramatics, and I secretly think that he wishes he was acing professionally rather than living the life of an accountant. It was good talking to him about theatre and such and he got more excited talking about his first play than he did about anything else. Well, not everything... which leads me to my next observation.
Have you seen the movie Shame? Where Michael ‘Sexy’ Fassbender’s character is a sex addict and no-one at work knows it? That’s kind of how I see Randy’s life. While he did say that everyone at work knows he’s gay, I don’t think he lets the overtly crude and randiness come out around the office. Judging from his sporadic sexual innuendos, I think deep down Randy is a sex addict. From comments about being jewish and how I could “find out first hand later” if I wanted, to his chosen parting remarks being (half) jokingly “wanna shag?”, it was all a bit too much. He may not live to the high degree like the character in Shame, but I’d be willing to bet he has a stash of “barely legal” porn on his work computer.
Now... I fully understand that British humour is different from American and I can deal with that. I know crude jokes like this are common, but on the first date? Really? I (un)reluctantly declined his offer to “shag”. During the date it seemed like we were just having a laugh. It wasn’t until I reflected back that I realised how subtly creepy it all was. I can say that there definitely was not a dull moment, but I don’t think we will be going on a second date.
Until we rendezvous again,
GoodbyeUntilTomorrow
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