Date #4: Everything in Common, Yet Nothing to Say

Date  4 of 29. 

NAME: Everything in Common, Yet Nothing to Say

AGE: 23

OCCUPATION: Stage Manager

TYPE: Normal British Guy (I don’t know how to better describe it better)
NATIONALITY: British

DATE RATING:  1 Star

Before I even start to talk about this horrific date, I have to share with you what happened on the way there. I was on the tube and was sitting on the seats facing the platform, thus I could see who was getting on the train.  Guess who was standing directly in front of me when the train stopped... Date #2 : Motormouth. You can’t write this shit!  I got a little frightened that he would somehow figure out what I was doing, but that was a bit stupid. We exchanged a hug and kiss on the cheek and he immediately went into this high energy story of how he hasn’t seen his friend in a year and how she’s always giving excuses (cue googley eyes).  I then had to get off the train because I was meeting my best friend at a pub that “she” suggested.  This encounter confirmed the sneaking suspicion I had of us just being good friends. We could definitely carry on a convo but it was pure friendliness. He then texted me later saying that he’d like to meet up again. Maybe. 

Now, I had high hopes for Date #4.  We had everything going for us. We’re both in theatre,  he likes musicals and his friend stage managed a past production that I was in at drams school. Not only this, but he was completely my type; tall and scruffy. It was great.  Judging from our previous conversations, we seemed to click. Wrong! This just goes to show that you can never tell from online chatting.  Hence the name. We had NOTHING to talk about.  There would be an exchange of a comment, a reply and then dead silence for about 2 minutes. He went to the loo TWICE during our date (which lasted a mere 45 minutes, including walking to the pub and waiting to get drinks). In all honesty, it was my turn to buy the next round of drinks, but I sure as hell didn’t want to if I had to endure another 20-30 minutes of this! In the words of my best friend... “It was absolutely mortifying.” And it was.

I’m never the one to actually end anything properly. I never say “we should do this again” or “well I think I ought to be going”.  I’m always the one to nod and agree. This time,  after a few minutes of silence when he said he should probably go (and I quote) due to his lack of energy from work... Whether or not it was true, I was glad he said it and I didn’t argue. 

For those who know me, this may come as a bit of a shock but I’m a pushover when it comes to dating. I’m completely indecisive as to where to go, what to do and what I want to drink or eat. It’s like when I get around a guy my strong personality suddenly takes a back seat to indecision.  These dates have made me realise this and it’s something I want to work on. 

While I’m worried that I will run into him somewhere along the way (London theatre is a small world), I don’t think we ended on bad terms.  

Likelihood of 2nd date: Are you joking? 

Until we rendezvous again,

GoodbyeUntilTomorrow.


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Date #3: Uncertainty

Date  3 of 29. 

NAME: Uncertainty

AGE: 31

OCCUPATION: Something of an artist who does it all

TYPE: Ginger Bear in Training
NATIONALITY: British

DATE RATING:  2 Stars

What happened on this date is one of my BIGGEST pet hates (pet peeves for those fellow yanks).  If you post a picture, please have the decency to pick one that RESEMBLES you. I knew I should be leery of guys who only share pics that they took themselves... on their macbook... posing in their room. They always look better in the pic than they do in real life. 

This guy shows up. He is by NO means bad looking. But still looks nothing like the pictures he had chosen to share with me. And there were about 10 face pictures sent. There was the automatic uncertainy of ... are we gonna hug or just shake hands?  So we met in the middle and did the awkward handshake with the other hand hugging like a bro.  Then we headed towards his chosen destination. It was this really cosy and quirky bar near Waterloo, very non-descript from the outside not saying anything but ‘BAR’ on the marquee. It was choc full of a weird mix of middle-aged casuals, young indie kids and we were somewhere in the middle. 

Being 31, I expected him to be a bit more... adult. That being said, he had his life together. He was completely uncertain as to what exactly that he does for a living. He has done many things in many artistic avenues and they were all very interesting and lovely. While we had very good conversations about English fashion vs. American Fashion (English won), he also expressed his love of films and his hate of Zooey Deschanel.  This is where his chances of a 2nd date ended. While I can understand why he says that she tries too hard to be ‘quirky’ and ‘indie’,  I just think she is so witty and wonderful. He did not agree.  Then he described how his favourite part of  the film ‘Shame’ was Carey Mulligan singing.  Now, let’s be serious.  Carey Mulligan should have never been allowed to sing a single note in any sort of public outlet, let alone supposedly getting paid big bucks to sing in an exclusive jazz venue in Manhattan.  That was the most uncomfortable and cringeworthy part of the film, yet it was his favourite. Thus,  I lost all respect for his taste in films. 

The whole date went pretty smoothly when I moved beyond his horrible taste in films.  There was an awkward 2 minutes where we had nothing to say and just looked around the room. Silence was broken by me commenting on the cool huge clock on the wall of the downstairs bar. Yep, Enthralling. His attitude was completely uncertain on anything and everything, yet he had some strong opinions on certain things.  Throughout the conversation he seemed almost apologetic for everything he was saying (though I’m discovering this is a common trait in British people). 

While there was no major dislike of him, he just wasn’t very exciting.  And for a 31 year old, too uncertain on life. 

Possibility of a 2nd date: Nada. 

Until we rendezvous again,

Goodbye Until Tomorrow. 


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Date #2: Motormouth

Date  2 of 29

NAME: Motormouth

AGE: 29 

OCCUPATION: Teacher

TYPE: Pocket Gay
NATIONALITY: British

DATE RATING:  3 1/2 Stars

This one was really intriguing. From his pictures he seemed to have such an honest smile.  When sending pictures he was upfront and asked “what do you want? clean, rude or what?” to which I replied “clean and maybe a bit rude but not everything hanging out”.  With that,  he sent exactly what I asked for and I definitely liked what I saw. 

When we met, I was waiting for a few minutes alone and on time at our meeting point. I’m not that bothered because he let me know in advance.  He showed up and immediately had so much energy that I was a little taken aback by it. During the first hour, he was still in his classroom full of 8 year olds and I think I managed to get 5 words into the conversation. One of the most dramatic non-actors I’ve ever met. It was like a barrier was up and he was always “on it”.  I’d really like to see the real him and actually have a conversation free of dramatic re-enactments or googley eyes. 

I always hate it when we talk about the gay gps app... as if I’m ashamed and it shouldn’t be talked about in polite society.  It is however, how we actually came to be at that place at that particular moment. This time we shared a common hatred of 3 things:

1. “Looking for?” 
2. “Into?” 
3. Partnered guys using the app

I’m sure any normal guy who is looking for something of substance can share our frustration.  (Unless you’re just a whore who loves being mistress... Nothing against it, but that’s not for me.) 

Now, I will be honest. He reminds me a LOT of my ex boyfriend. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but I could see our relationship fizzling after 2 months just as it did with Slut Boy (as my mum likes to call him). Except he was an actor... Motormouth was not. He sure as hell had enough drama for the both of them. 

Yes. We did have a goodnight kiss in the tube station. Yes, it was the awkward half lip, half cheek kiss, but I was fine with it. 

Likelihood of a 2nd date: A possibility. I’d like to actually get to know him and not his “on stage” persona. 

Until we rendezvous again,

GoodbyeUntilTomorrow.


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Date #1: Boring but Nice

THIS IS SO EXCITING! Here goes:

Date  1 of 29. 

NAME: Boring but Nice. 

AGE: I’d say around 25, I didn’t find out. 

OCCUPATION: Boring. 

TYPE: Nerdy
NATIONALITY: British

DATE RATING:  2 stars

I will be honest. I will normally be setting up these dates via the dreaded  Gay GPS App  from which I cannot tear myself away from (don’t pretend like you haven’t been on it at one point of your life. It’s addictive). But this guy, I actually met because he came into my restaurant with his friends and I had his waitress slip him my card. Now about my business card... I’m an actor. In the theatre industry it’s a bit twee to put “So and So. Actor.” on my card, so all there is is my name, my contact details and then my headshot is plastered on the back.  In the industry, it’s a good idea. In the real world, people wonder what it is exactly that I do.  At least he won’t forget what I look like! I rarely get up enough nerve to actually give guys my card, it’s a bit wanky, but I was feeling courageous that day.

Anyways, onto the actual date. He was nice. That’s the extent of it.  For some reason I remember him looking a bit different. I just got a picture in my head of what he looked like and it was obviously skewed from reality. That’s not to say that he wasn’t attractive, because he definitely was. He was just more nerdy and less trendy. So, not really much happened, the conversation stopped after about an hour.  We had a bit in common, both liked music(als), both liked... noodles... both... liked... yea. That’s about it. 

The Goodbye. It’s always a toss-up as to what/how we will say goodbye. Especially when I already said I don’t have to be at work for another 4 hours. This time I said “I had work to do” which was my way of saying that I need to go write this blog. So, I went in for the awkward hug at the end and when he stated “we should definitely do it again sometime”... Even I could hear the hesitance in my voice as I replied “yea! just text me”. 

Likelihood of 2nd date: Zilch. 

As I’m sitting here sipping the new vanilla spice latte (which I won’t be getting again) in my favourite [until I find a better one] Starbucks in central London, I couldn’t help but flirt with the young European 19 year old barista as he made my drink. I say European because the UK is not really anything like the rest of Europe, especially in the men’s department.  Maybe he shall be my #2?

Moral of the Story:  I don’t know how useful it is to hand out my business card at my work place. 


Until we rendezvous again,

GoodbyeUntilTomorrow.

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Let the Games Begin...

About me: 

I’m an American living in London. Yes I’m gay. Yes I’m an actor. Get over it. 


I will hereforth be known as GoodbyeUntilTomorrow. 100 points if you get the reference. For confidentiality reasons, no one's true identity will be revealed at any point in this process. 


While being in the UK for the last year and a half, I have found myself on so many dates that I’ve lost track of them all. While a few dates went on to bloom into mini-flings (I won’t call them relationships), none of them lasted.  There is something of a wall between me and British men. I don’t know what it is, but I am determined to break it down. It may be the fact that I am and will perpetually be frightened of the dreaded “hooded turtle” that all european men seem to have between their legs. Or it just may be my bad luck with men in general. Whatever it is, I’m still single. 


And so begins the game. =D 


Until we rendezvous again,


GoodbyeUntilTomorrow.